Our Senior class just got yearbooks this week; you can see them being passed from desk to desk, a time capsule of our memories at Poway High.  Messages twirl across pages like miniature ballerinas; some graceful and loopy, other's precise, like it just was printed off the computer.  The more artistic crowd chooses their notes to be full of color, with stars and hearts accenting the "i's" in every word.  Others (like mine) more closely resemble doctors handwriting, attempting to compensate with meaning what the message lacks in beauty.  We all have our own catch phrase we like to include in everyone's yearbook, just to get the ball rolling and the ideas flowing.  How else can we condense four years or more of our lives into the tiny space provided on the inside cover?  We rely on these little cliches and anecdotes to give our messages structure and form- a direction we plan to write towards.  Most commonly, I'm noticing the sentence, "You're so sweet, don't ever change!"  (exclamation points are necessary at the end of this sentence, apparently to show how passionately they feel about this vapid and ultimately inane statement.)  Of course the people who write this are well meaning, of course it's meant as a compliment. I don't mean to tear down anyone who has included this in previous pages, or plans to include them in their future ones.  By all means, write whatever you want, they're your words frozen forever in time, not mine.  But do these good-intentioned writers realize what they mean when they say, "..don't ever change!"? Truthfully, I can't think of a worse fate for any of us.  Can you imagine making your way through the rest of your life without ever changing?  No matter how fabulous your high school experience was, repeating the same patterns of living for the next 80 years seems (to me) synonymous with torture. "hell is repitition without finality."  I forget which philosopher said that- I'm getting rusty these last few days of school- but it seems applicable to the situation.  Some people might argue that high school is the pinnacle of their existence... all that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"  reasoning and such.  But God, there is so much out there do do and see and live for and be...the mind boggles at the possibilities.  Every action shapes and changes who we are; to suggest that we never change is to suggest staying within our little powegian bubble, shunning the sensations of the world.  If I could, I would take every yearbook with that small-minded message, cross of the words and write, "Change!  Become everything you ever dreamed of! Take chances, explore the world, get hurt!  Laugh, cry, dance, live!  Push yourself to the limits every day, travel to the ends of the world and never look back!  This is your opportunity of a lifetime to embrace all that surrounds us.  Become familiar with the unfamiliar...and when you feel like you've done all that, you can start to evaluate who you are and whether you want to remain as you were, or embrace your reinvention.  Chances are, come our ten year reunion, you will be different.  And that's not a bad thing. You will have knowledge and experience you never thought possible.  You'll grasp concepts unimagined.  Not only will you have learned more, you'll know that less is certain.  For every answer you find, it will be replaced by at least three more questions.  These questions will point you inthe direction that you wish to follow in life. And that direction might change over the years.  In fact, it probably will.  If you seek out the answers with your heart, soul, body and mind, you'll be rewarded with a full life and fascinating existence.  Play your cards right, and you could even be happy.  I want to see you at our ten year reunion sharing that you're not only alive but truly living, glowing that flushed glow of exitement seen only on those entranced by the glory of each day.  Do whatever you feel is right with whoever whenever and however, but for God's sake don't stay the same!  Grow up, grow old, and grow wise.  Our years now will become the 'good old days'  we look back on in the future, people are apt to regret the things they don't do more than those they do.  I love who you are, but I'll love who you will be too; so change, new graduate, and stretch your wings."
 Obviously, I'm one of those people who can ramble on for pages if given the opportunity, and what better chance than in yearbooks?  Of course, if I tried to sqeeze that long message in the little space provided for the "don't ever change"  statement...they'd need a magnifying glass to read it...and then they probably wouldn't bother anyway...and then the meaning would be lost forever.  Which is why it's so much more convenient for me just to share my thoughts with you on my live journal.  Someone wrote to me about it today (my live journal) and it's funny how important it is.  I never thought it could matter if people read it or not until I'd heard that someone had, and they actually liked it, and understand the things I felt and went through.  What a relief!  Everyone would get along so much better if we simply told people how we really felt-because everyone has "been there" at some point in our lives, and we're all just lost souls trying to find our way in a world of confusion.  If you're not- congradulations- send me a message with step by step instructions on how to find myself.  Thanks, it would be much appreciated.  Needless to say, I didn't use the "don't ever change"  phrase as a means of getting into the meat of my messages.  Instead, I used a system I've been practicing since 7th grade- grown quite comfortable with it in fact.  I tell the person how much I admire them.  This might sound completely fake, and when I first started to write it, I wondered if it was.  But the results were amazing.  As I considered each person I wrote to, I realized that they all had traits that I strove for; even those I hadn't expected.  The more I searched within myself to find things I could say that I loved about them, the more things I found.  Signing yearbooks gives me this emotional high I can't experience any other way- I find the good in each person and capture it on paper.  It sounds cheesy to the max, but it's true.  I haven't found a person yet that I don't have admiration on some level for.  I learned/ am learning about myself too.  There are certain things I find that I admire in all people, and these are the characteristics that I hold closest to my heart, traits I try to have as well.  Through my messages to others I see the kind of person I want to be, and the things I want to do.  I almost wish we had some sort of yearbook signing in the middle of the year in addition to the end- I feel so much closer with these people once I've shared everything they mean to me.  To tear us all apart from each other at such a crucial part in our relationship almost seems cruel.  But then I remember what I'm advocating against; the interminable sameness, and I know it's for the best that we're all leaving each other when we've learned and shared so much together.  We can't stay together forever, but we can carry the experiences forever in our hearts, and these are the experiences that promote change and growth for the years to come.  I'll miss you, class of 2004, and I wish you the best of luck in the future